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#223069 - 07/02/10 07:30 PM Persephone the Castaway (Spoilers)
chocolatechip Offline
Consigliere

Registered: 11/05/09
Posts: 280
Loc: Being chased by angry igaunas
This is my first story! There are spoilers, so consider yourself warned! This is the first chapter of "Persephone the Castaway" Persephone is pronounced pur-sef'-uh-nee and Annaleigh is pronounced anna-lay. I'm sorry if you don't like my story, after all this is my first try! Peace out! cool
wink

Ch.1 Shipwrecked

" 'Seph! Wake up! Wake up, Persephone!"
I wake up, groaning. "I'm up! I'm not deaf, Annaleigh."
My best friend, Annaleigh, is kneeling over me. She's 25, just one year younger then me. We look almost exactly alike except for our eyes. Hers are blue while mine are walnut brown.

I sit up and ask her "Um... Anna, Where exactly are we?" She looks at me with a sad face and answers "I don't really know. The ship sank, remember? I guess we washed up on this beach."

That's when it all comes back to me. Annaleigh and I were on a cruse ship. We were in first class, listening to music in our spacious dorm. There was a terrible storm going on. There was thunder, lighting, howling winds, rain, and huge waves.

Then, the lights turned red and loud sirens went off. We rushed out of our dorm to the top deck. The captain was instructing people to get into the life rafts. The ship was sinking. We jumped on to a life raft. Then, a HUGE wave threw everyone off their rafts. All I remember after that was sinking under the water.

"Hello!? Earth to 'Seph!" Annaleigh says as she waves her hand in front of my face. "Sorry, I was thinking about the ship. Annaleigh And I get up and spot a person on the beach. We run over and shake him really hard. His eyes finally open. He asks "Where Am I and who are you people?"

Annaleigh answers by telling him what happened last night. I end the story by saying " To get to the point, We don't know where we are." The man is about 24 years old with deep red hair and light blue eyes. He introduces himself as Rasche.

We all walk around until Rasche yells "Look! There's a Village Let's go check it out!" He runs over to the village and we follow him. As we enter the village, we see a little girl crying and being comforted by her older brother.

They both look at us. The little girl runs over to us screaming "Look ,Alohi! People! people! I knew that chocolatechip would send us help! I knew it!"

She comes up and hugs me. She's about up to my waist. She has blond, curly hair and beautiful blue eyes. Her older brother stands up. "Napa! Where are your Manners!" He walks over to us as Napa detaches herself from me. "Sorry about Napa. I'm Alohi and welcome to Isola. Who are you people?"

The end of Ch. 1 Hope you enjoyed! The other chapters will be out soon! Peace out! smile






Edited by Rockmower (07/04/10 02:17 PM)
Edit Reason: content, spelling, formatting etc
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#223226 - 07/08/10 09:38 PM Re: Persephone the Castaway (Spoilers) [Re: chocolatechip]
chocolatechip Offline
Consigliere

Registered: 11/05/09
Posts: 280
Loc: Being chased by angry igaunas
I really hope you all liked the first chapter of this story because here's the second chapter! There are spoilers and I hope you like the tribe's name! Go on. read it. I dare you.
Peace out! cool


The Quirple Tribe

After Napa detached herself from me, she did a little bow of her head and apologized for giving me a bear hug. She looks like she's seven years old. After that an awkward silence sets in. Deciding that I need to break this silence, I say "Uh.. I'm Persephone and this is Annaleigh" I point at her " And this dude is Rasche" I point at Rasche. Then Annaleigh tells them what happened to us. Then she asked them "Why are you guys the only ones here?" Napa and Alohi's happy faces then turned into frown. Alohi starts explaining by saying "A long time ago, A terrible sickness came over our small village.
It claimed many villagers. The doctor tried everything he could to try and cure everyone. The farmers, builders, and scientists all got sick. The Doctor also got sick too. Everything fell apart.

The Tree of life got sick too. The birds and fish disappeared. Napa and I were lucky and was immune to the sickness." Napa yells " Please stay here And help us!" We agreed to stay there. It's not like we could go anywhere else.

Besides It was a sad story and Isola looks beautiful. Napa's frown turns to a toothy smile. She grabs Annaleigh and my hands and leads us to a small waterfall. She gives us new clothes and tells us to change into them. I look at my clothes.

They smell like sea salt and are torn everywhere. Annaleigh and I happily changed into our new clothes. My dress is Yellow and white. I have two leafy bracelets and a leafy scarf. Annaleigh has a brown dress which is adorned with flowers at the bottom. Napa, Annaleigh and I head back to the middle of the village.

When we get there, Alohihas put dry grass in the fire pit and instructs Annaleigh to get some firewood. I see Rasche at the blueberry bush and walk over to him. The bush had thorns guarding most of the berries, making it hard to pick one berry without pricking your finger. "Rasche, Wouldn't it be easier with a cutting tool?". "Sure, It would make this way easier." I spot a huge skeleton of a fish and pick off a rib. I heat treat it and sharpen it. Rasche tries it out. It works. Everyone comes to celebrate the discovery.

Wanna comment? Click Here.


Edited by Rockmower (07/17/10 10:29 PM)
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#223552 - 07/22/10 04:14 AM Re: Persephone the Castaway (Spoilers) [Re: chocolatechip]
chocolatechip Offline
Consigliere

Registered: 11/05/09
Posts: 280
Loc: Being chased by angry igaunas
In my message this time, I would like to thank a couple of people. First, I would like to thank Havetia. She encouraged to post this story and that means a lot to me. Second, I would like to thank Rockmower. Correcting my story must take up a lot of time and It's nice he never complains about editing anyone's stories. He must have a lot of patience. grin .Third, I'm gonna thank Spinnything. She told me that there was no harm in trying to post my third chapter of this story. Peace out! cool

The Boiling Pot

"What'cha doin'?" Napa asks, Like the a curios child. It's my second day on Isola and I love it." I'm researching, Napa." Suddenly, I hear a low growling noise that makes me jump." What was that?" I ask, With a worried look on my face. Napa clutches her stomach and says "My stomach is saying it's hungry!"

I smile after she says that. I'm a bit relieved too. She starts to walk over to the food hut, but stops by the empty pot. "You can boil water in that pot. Get water and a heated rock." Her stomach growls again. "I better go. And I know, Only a light snack." I was just about to tell her that.

Dinner would be ready soon. Annaleigh walks over to me after Napa runs back to the food hut. " 'Seph, We need to do something with that pot." I turn to Annaleigh. "Anna, we need to get Freshwater in it and a hot rock under it." Annaleigh nods and heads of to the stream, which had just been cleared today.

I head off to the rock pile near the end of the bridge. I pick up a rock and head over to the fire to heat it. When it turns red, I try to pick it up. My hands feel the heat and I drop the hot rock. I just can't pick it up! Rasche happens to be nearby. I call out to him. "Rasche, Please help me." He runs over, with a smile on his face.

"What's wrong?" He asks me. "I can't pick up this rock. Could you please pick it up and take it to the lab for me?" Rasche agrees to help me and while he picks it up He says "Persephone, You need to start building if your hands are that soft." I giggle a bit and roll my eyes. "Whatever, Let's just get the rock under this pot."

As soon as he puts the rock under the pot, The water Annaleigh put in starts to boil. I yell "Hey everybody, Rasche and Annaleigh made water boil!" While, everyone runs over to celebrate Rasche says that I helped too. Napa was first to run over. She giggles a bit and then starts to celebrate like everyone else.

Soon, I cook dinner in the pot. The dinner was better then last night's because now it was a hot stew. After that, Rasche and Alohi had finished the hut and had started on another that looked a bit different then the other one, but won't tell anyone what kind it is. We all go to sleep after dinner, happy and exhausted. We all sleep better in the hut then last night, when we slept outside.

It may have not been as long as the other chapter, But I promise the next will be out soon. The link to the comment thread is at the end of the 2nd chapter. Please comment. I would like to hear your opinions on my story.






Edited by Rockmower (07/26/10 06:10 AM)
Edit Reason: spelling & formatting
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#224057 - 08/06/10 03:00 AM Re: Persephone the Castaway (Spoilers) [Re: chocolatechip]
chocolatechip Offline
Consigliere

Registered: 11/05/09
Posts: 280
Loc: Being chased by angry igaunas
Wow! I really liked all the feedback you guys gave. It's what keeps me going! wink I really hope that my last message didn't sound like I won a Grammy or something eek In this chapter, It's been week since their second day on Isola. As a heads up, my school starts in about 2 or 3 weeks, so when school starts this story won't be updated as much. But I promise they'll be better and longer! This chapter is way longer then the last, So enjoy!
Peace out!


The Smell of Soap and Cooked Fruit

I woke up while everyone was still sleeping. I stepped carefully over the others and walked out of the hut, bumping my head in the process. I silently mumbled
"Ow…" as I walked over to the strange hut in the clearing . We finished the other huts yesterday, So I wonder what this hut could be? I remember the expressions Alohi and Rasche had on their faces last night when Annaleigh And I decorated the other hut in flowers and other decorations.

I walk away from the strange hut and start the fire again. I check the food and then head over to the blueberry bush. When I get there I gasp, All the blueberries were almost gone! We haven't even finished clearing the rubble in the Cooking pit Annaleigh and Alohi found The other day! I rush over to the cooking pit I remove as much rubble as I can In a few minutes.

"What's wrong, 'Seph?".
Annaleigh says from behind me. " Nice try, but you didn't scare me. Anyway, There are only a couple berries left!" I say, a bit rushed. " You know that you can't do that alone and You have to start breakfast, Too". I hear an "Ow..." from the direction of our hut. I stand up and turn around. Rasche is walking towards us, rubbing the back of his head. I call out to him " Did You hit your head on the doorway?". He yells back, with a grin " Now what makes you think that?".

We get to our morning routines. I head to the lab And start making breakfast. As I'm cutting some fish that got stuck in the tide pool in low tide, Rasche comes over, holding three white herbs in his arms. I give him a confused look and he says that it's a surprise. I get back to my task. A few minutes later, I've finished breakfast and put it around the fire pit. Something in the air smells a bit different. The scent is coming from the lab, so I start to walk over there, Just as Napa races by. She's heading to the Lab too. I get there and look into the pot. It was Soap! " It's still hardening, so don't touch it". I turn around and look at Rasche. " Now, Why Would I do that?". He laughs a bit, But then Napa rushes over to the pot with a spoon. " Napa, Don't eat that!".

But she put the spoon in there anyway and put some soap in her mouth. Her expression changed from a happy smile, to a scrunched up mouth. She ran to the pool of water near the lab and cleaned her mouth. She walked back to us and asked " What was that yucky thing? It isn't breakfast, Right?". I laugh a bit and tell Napa that's its soap and assure her that isn't breakfast. Alohi has woken up, so we all eat our breakfast.

Then Rasche Runs to the lab and comes back, With the soap in his hand! We all gather around and celebrate! Which involves a cheesy group hug. Napa runs of to find mushrooms,lab gear, fish scales, wind flutes, and mausoleum pieces. Rasche, Alohi, Annaleigh and I all agree that starting right now, we will all work on clearing the rubble together. There wasn't much rubble left, but if we hadn't worked together then we wouldn't have cleared it fast enough. We all stood up and looked at the pit.

" How will we cook the fruit in there?" Annaleigh asked. I Had no idea how we would do it. Then Alohi said " I think I know how. We need four hot rocks and some leaves from the dormant banana tree" He pointed to a small tree by the blueberry bush, " to cover the rocks." We walked over to the rock pile and each grabbed a large rock to heat. We walked over and put the rocks down and did something while we waited for them to turn red. Rasche and Alohi worked on the strange hut, while Annaleigh and I researched.

While we were researching, Annaleigh leans over and whispers "What do you think that strange hut is? Alohi won't tell me anything". I tell her " Rasche won't tell me anything either. I haven't got any idea what it could be". Napa runs in the lab and tells us that she found a wind flute and the rocks are red. I tell her good job and we run over to the fire pit to retrieve our hot rocks. Rasche and Alohi are already there, picking up two of the four hot rocks. Annaleigh and I pick up the remaining two rocks and rush over to the cooking pit.

We carefully put the hot rocks in there and ran over to the dormant banana tree, because we did not want the rocks to cool. We picked some of the large leaves off the tree and ran over to the pit to cover the rocks. After we put the leaves over the hot rocks, bits of thin smoke arose from under the leaves. Rasche ran over to the tree where the hard fruit was, and shook some down!

In a few seconds, a big, juicy fruit fell down into Rasche's arms! He took it over to the cooking pit. Soon, he said " I think it might be ready now. Let's try it!". We all rushed over to Rasche and took a chunk out of the huge piece of fruit. It smelled wonderful! I put it in mouth and it tasted as wonderful as it smelled. Napa runs and grabs a chunk off the fruit too and she says " This is really good! We should use this in dessert for my 10th birthday, which happens to be next week!". She runs of, after grabbing a piece of fruit and celebrating the discovery, Like the rest of us.

" 10th birthday? I thought she was 7!" I said,a bit confused. Alohi chuckled and said " She got that a lot and it will benefit her later in life when she's 50 and still has her blond hair". I suppose she is a little bit too mature to be a 7-year-old.

We have a big dinner in celebration of the two great things that have happened today. It was yummy , thanks to the fruit from the tree. After that we all went to bed because we are exhausted.






Edited by Rockmower (08/10/10 06:43 AM)
Edit Reason: spelling mostly
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#224649 - 09/02/10 12:13 AM Re: Persephone the Castaway (Spoilers) [Re: chocolatechip]
chocolatechip Offline
Consigliere

Registered: 11/05/09
Posts: 280
Loc: Being chased by angry igaunas
Hi guys! School started two weeks ago.sorry that I haven't posted in a long time!
The story will be a bit different this time, So I hope you enjoy it and comment on it.
Peace out!


A Great Storm

"Hey everybody!Alohi And I want to show you the new hut!"
Annaleigh and I ran to the new hut. We gasped when we got there. It was a knitting hut! " You guys are wonderful!" I said, as we ran up to hug rasche and Alohi. I hugged Rasche and Napa came running out of the hut with knitting needles, giggling with glee. " Napa! Don't run with knitting needles in your hands! Please put them down!" Alohi said, wagging his finger at her. She put the needles down and she the look on her
face when she has a question. " Alohi, How will we make cloth?"
Napa said, showing curiosity in her eyes. But Alohi replied with a calm face, that he knew how to make cloth he just needed some help. Annaleigh and I agreed to help and Napa ran off to play.

Alohi told us to fetch a bowl of salt water and a hot rock I ran to the bowls by the ocean and picked one up. As I picked it up, I thought I saw a glimmer in the water, but decided my mind was playing tricks on me. I put the bowl in the water and found out that the glimmer I saw was really a flying fish! I looked around and saw millions of flying fish ! "The tree of Life is better, much better!" Yelled Napa whom was further down the beach. This was great but what is the "Tree of Life"?

Me and Annaleigh ran to the lab and helped Rasche and Alohi make cloth. Alohi explained how we would catch the flying fish. At first it didn't make sense, but then it all clicked together in my head. The water had turned to a tan, pulpy mixture and Alohi took the pot and poured it out on a smooh rock near the fire. Annaleigh and I pounded and pounded untill it had finally turned into a good quality cloth while the boys worked on fixing the nearly finished piers.

Alohi and Rasche finished the piers and called us to the piers to start making the nets. Rasche cleared his throat and said
" We need to finish making our nets quickly because of those ominous clouds in the distance" We all looked at the dark clouds rolling in " We need to work fast, but we must also do it correctly. If We work fast enough we should finish by midnight or so. Let's get to work!" We all grabbed a bolt of cloth and proceded to work on the two nets.It was easier then Ithought it would be, because Rasche and Alohi helped us from time to time. We were also going faster then we all thought we would and finished one net by the time the clouds were overhead.

Soon, it started to drizzle and then down pour, just as we expected. The wind picked up and the nets swayed back and forth. I occasionally lost my footing, as the waves were getting choppy and the tide was very high. We were soaked within seconds. It was hard to work in those conditions, but
we carried on. We were soaked,cold,had blisters on our hands, But no one complained at all. When we heard thunder,Alohi Yelled " Let's get out of this storm!" We abandoned our posts went for higher ground. When we got there, Napa was not there and we started to worry. We went down the beach and Alohi Yelled "Napa! Napa! Napa, Where are you!" You could see the frustration and worry on his face.

Then I spotted her! She was clinging to a rock in the tide pool, Too scared to scream for help. I ran over there, as fast as my legs could carry me. When I got there I picked Napa up and set her down on the beach. She ran to higher ground right when I picked her up. I ran from my position at the tide pool and tripped when I was halfway there. I tried to get up, But I couldn't! I looked at my legs and saw bull kelp tangled and wrapped up my legs so tight that I could barely move. I struggled to get out but the kelp wouldn't budge! I looked back and saw a huge wave coming towards the tide pool I was stuck in! I struggled and wiggled but I still couldn't get out!

This is where I change the story a bit.
Don't worry, The next chapter won't be done so differently.
This is me narrating what's happening.


Rasche knew what was happening and started to run to Persephone, The emotion he felt when he first saw her growing with every step he took. He was almost there when the Wave crashed on to the tide pool, carrying Persephone out to sea.
He jumped into the ocean,swimming faster then ever has, to reach and save Persephone. She saw him and an emotion she had
never felt before swelled up in her heart, growing bigger every second. She was struggling to keep her head above the water, so every breath she took was a matter of life or death.
She knew she couldn't keep this up much longer since she had never been good at swimming no matter How Many Swimming lessons Aunt and Uncle took her to.Now, I must tell the sad truth that Persephone's parents died of a mysterious illness when she was quite small. She was raised by her Aunt and Uncle and The rest of her small family. She Met Annaleigh shortly afterward, and they had been best friends ever since.

Persephone couldn't keep her head above the water and now sank just below the water. Rasche Saw this and swam even faster. He took a deep breath and dove down under. He reached out and grabbed Persephone's Hand swam back up, with Persephone in his arms, He swam back to shore. He helped her up and walked her up to the beach. She stood up and they met eyes.

Rasche then asked Persephone if she would marry him. Persephone answered his question by saying the answer he wanted to hear. in other words, She said yes! The moment she said " Yes" The storm stopped, the sun came out, The wind stopped, and the air had a sense of peace.


Yay! I finished! The next chapter will come out soon! If you liked how I did this chapter please comment!
Peace out!

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#225959 - 12/13/10 12:07 AM Re: Persephone the Castaway (Spoilers) [Re: chocolatechip]
chocolatechip Offline
Consigliere

Registered: 11/05/09
Posts: 280
Loc: Being chased by angry igaunas
I hope you don't think this chapter is too long. I'm sorry I took so long to post another chapter. I blame School and the torture they call "homework". I'll try to post more frequently!

Napa's Symphony

"There! Finished!" exclaimed Alohi, walking away from the nets. The storm had damaged the nets only a little, but enough to make us worry about them. Something was tugging at my hand. I looked down and saw Napa gazing up
at me. " Follow me, Persephone!" She grabbed my hand and ran to a small area, when everyone had gone to start working. " Look! My frogs don't have water so they're not happy and won't sing for me! Please, pretty please, help me!" She cried. I looked back. I needed to met with Rasche to build our hut pretty soon. I crouched down to her size and said " Look, I need to go soon, but While I'm gone, Why don't you think about a temporary home for the frogs,
okay?" Napa shook her head up and down as an answer and ran off to a different direction. I ran to the hut, hoping not to be late.

I finished the curtains, the bed sheets and now I was just starting on the baby hammock. Rasche finished some shelves and was now making the bed. Making the mattress was about the hardest and and funnest part of making the bed. I just couldn't bring myself to pluck feathers from innocent birds, so I stuffed it with a collection of leftover cloth, leaves, and petals. We both had a few cuts, But they're the kind of cuts that are easily healed. Knotting the soft cloth in between the knots was surprisingly easily. Beginning the hammock was hard and sometimes the knots would fall apart. Finally, I was finished. I looked at my hands and saw that they were red and had a couple blisters. " Rasche, I finished with the hammock. Do you need any help with the bed?" I said as I walked over to where he was working.
" Actually, I just finished, too." He replied. " Well, then" I said, " I guess we've finished!". He looked around our hut and said " Yep, We have finally finished." He exclaimed. I gave him a hug and we both walked outside. The sun was setting, Making the sunlight dance on the waves. " Well, I think we both have things we need to do. I have dinner duty tonight. Wish me luck that I don't burn dinner to a crisp. I gotta run! Bye!" and Rasche ran off towards the lab. I decided to go check on Napa,

I sat down besides Napa and watched the frogs swim and jump in the bowl of
freshwater she had brought them. " Napa, did you figure out where you're going to put the frogs?" I asked. " Yes" She boasted " and I will tell everyone at dinner. Also, Watch this!" Napa picked up a flute and played a small tune. The frogs in the bowl croaked back the same small tune she had played. " Napa, Where did you.." I started, but Napa cut me off. " The frogs only play for me and" She said proudly ."Alohi taught me. He's really good at it, but he won't play anymore since....a close friend of his died." her proud look was replaced by a sad frown. I felt horrible for making her sad. " Napa, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have asked. I could teach a couple of tunes my cousin taught me if you want." I apologized. Napa put a smile on her face and said " It's okay. You didn't know. I would love it if you would teach some flute songs!". I picked up the flute and started to teach her.

The fire was warm and bright, making it a perfect night to eat outside. Annaleigh had set up dinner over by the fire tonight, even though Alohi thought it was going to rain. We were all recounting the day's events and just having a good time.The strange thing was that Napa wasn't talking. At all. Annaleigh was telling us a joke when Napa stood up, clutching her small flute. She cleared her throat and said " I want to bring the frogs up to the stream by the Tree of Life, once it rains. Could we please do that?"She looked at us all nervously, as if we would n't let this happen. Annaleigh said " I don't see any harm in doing this, so let's do it after dinner." The conversation went on, but Alohi took no part in it.

Later, after dinner, Napa sat on the beach watching the waves roll in and out.
" You know how Alohi wouldn't talk after my announcement at dinner? Well, it was because I was holding the wind flute that his best friend had carved for him. His best friend died of the sickness." Napa said, with a sigh. I was confused. If one my friends had made a homemade gift and then died, I would treasure it forever." But Napa" I said, " Why won't he play the flute that his dead friend made for him before he died? That doesn't make sense to me." Napa looked at me and said " On the night that he died, Alohi tried to play a song for him. He was the one everyone believed that would survive. When Alohi was well into the song, His friend died. Alohi believed it was his fault and threw the flute into the tide pool. He said he would never play it again. I found the flute there and played it whenever I think Alohi isn't near enough to hear or see me play. " I thought for a minute and said " well, Still you should show him your little act with your frogs. It might help him think about playing the flute again."

We watched as Napa put the last frog in while rubbed our hands together to keep from getting cold in the rain. She turned to us and took out her flute. I didn't think she would try to play it now in the cold rain. But then again, I thought, Napa always is unpredictable. I look at Alohi's face and saw a mix of surprise, sadness, and anger.I quickly turned my attention back to Napa. Her face was white from the chilling rain. Or was it the emotion on Alohi's face? Or nervousness? I guess we'll find out soon enough. Rasche thought this was a another one of Napa's unpredictable ways. Shaking, Napa Put the flute to her mouth and began to play.Three measures later two frogs jumped out of the water and croaked back the same tune. Alohi's face showed his surprise. Napa played the flute a bit more and then frogs croaked back the same tune and hastily jumped back into the river, their new home. The rain was slowing down, But it hadn't stopped yet. Annaleigh said
" We should all get inside before my lips turn blue."

In the knitting hut, Rasche, Annaleigh, and I asked Napa questions about the flute and the frogs, Alohi remained quiet, deep in thought. Napa answered the questions, but she looked distracted, waiting for Alohi's reaction. Finally, Alohi cleared his throat and said " That was very interesting Napa. I didn't now that you taught yourself how to play the flute. I may not remember much, But may I try playing the flute again?" Napa's eyes were tearing up and a happy smile was stretched across her face. She handed the flute to her brother and Alohi put the flute to his mouth. He began to play one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard.

Pretty Long, right? Happy Holidays!
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