I said the following last night

"Stay asleep gang..........No sleep... How do I keep you asleep?!

there are also threads on that

Seriously, where do all these socks come from??
Are you a sock? Are you a wrapper? Nope, it's the tv remote!!

I wonder when you are going to leave me little people!!

Noooooooo why did you have to die, it wasn't time yet!!!

"Oh you're watching tv. I'm gonna do that too. HEY that looks like Snow White on your tv! Neat!"

or the ever popular

"Hey. it's night go to sleep you're really weak and tired. you'll get sick.....................See?! I told you!"

"If Jenny in accounting can't afford to buy diapers, then she should stop having kids." Said upon recieving that email for the fourth time.

"That better not be one of the bugs we're looking for that you're taking outside!"

"Oh you little hypochondriac... you've bankrupted the family!"

"So, you don't wanna sleep? I've got some socks and wrappers and dirt smudges that have your name on 'em."

Funny thing, she went straight to bed once she escaped my evil clutches.

"IT'S A BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Just now. it's a BOY! Ben Jr after his daddy both mom (Sprite) and baby (Ben Jr) are fine and napping on the bed. Daddy Ben is napping in the livingroom after cooking an early dinner

When trying to make a baby.
"You guys are so out of sync. I mean your hubby is already walking away and you are still throwing flowers everywhere. You three families have troubles, learn from my two families who are actully in SYNC."

"UNDERPAY the taxes? What taxes? Wait, $130?!?! Sheesh, did I pay NEGATIVE taxes?"